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It hasn't been an exceptionally fruitful week,
there was no memories to be left behind.
Maybe it wasn't meant to be a memorable trip,
or maybe, I've grown out of most of those things that were once so familiar to me.
But it felt so different, like I was a completely different person.
How, I wish I knew the reasons.
Like how it feels like to be completely detached from your family,
or to feel misunderstood, even by the people closest to you.
Those feelings, now regretfully I know so well.
Something was missing, and everyday, I was faced with a new challenge,
with new things I have to accept, to acknowledge that I cannot change.
Somehow I feel lost, in a time and place and situation that I can't even begin to interpret.
Why is it that everytime I need you, you are more distant than ever.
Why is it that everything I do seem to be wrong,
and nothing I do or say come out the right way.
You are like an alien species to me,
I can not even understand the meaning of your actions,
let alone the reasons behind it.
I swore to make it better, I swore to myself I'll be better this time round.
But everytime I scream for your attention, maybe just a little affection,
it turns right back to me and stabs me in the heart like a blade.
I'm so full of apologies, every single time.
I just wanted to be appreciated for my efforts, or maybe just for me.
Honestly, what am I to you, its the same question again and again.
I believed, and trusted, and hoped, and wished.
And more often than never, I'm left, devastated, heart-broken, speechless, yet full of questions.
Remember your promises?
When did we fall apart, or did you lie from the start? </3
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| | Posted 6/25/2009 11:13 PM - 12 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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